Trashy Veggie Burgers


Sometimes trash can be a good thing.

When it comes to burgers, I like mine on the trashy side. Greasy, thin, and crispy. Fast food style, slathered in condiments, and stacked perilously high.

We had a barbeque planned for this week so I decided to whip up some veggie burgers that embodied these qualities.

What’s that? Didn’t I have a veggie burger recipe on here already? Yes, and you can find it here. But that veggie burger is healthy…ish. This one makes no such claim.

Want to learn more about trash? Read on. Want to skip ahead to the recipe? Click here.


My inspiration was “the best damn vegan burger” from Hot for Foodand I stayed fairly true to their ratios with a couple changes. First, I made my own TVP ground round mixture instead of using a prepackaged mix. Yes I know TVP ain’t health food, no I don’t care. Second, I added a little nutritional yeast for flavour, dropped the cumin because it’s heart burn in powdered for, and added a wee bit of MSG because it’s literally umami.


I cooked them on an baking sheet on the grill since they were more delicate than a typical burger and I didn’t want any disasters mid-party. It also allowed me to use a ton of oil to really trash these up.

I preferred these burgers to the healthier beet-bean-mushroom ones I made, although next time I’ll be doubling the TVP for a more crumbly, burger-like texture, and basting them in barbeque sauce a la Hot for Food. Or maybe I’ll add mushrooms instead of extra TVP. Stay tuned!

In the meantime, all 10 of these burgers flew off the grill and into peoples mouths. Even the meat eaters dug them. Or at least they said they did to my face… Shout out to Carrie for being my guinea pig.


 Trashy Veggie Burgers

Makes 8 to 10 thin, crispy burgs
Based on hot for food’s best damn veggie burger

2 tablespoons coconut oil
2 yellow onions, sliced

2 tablespoons peanut or neutral vegetable oil
1 cup tvp (textured vegetable protein)
1 cup water
1 tablespoon Better than Bouillon Vegetable Base
2 tablespoons Bragg’s Liquid Aminos
1 teaspoon sugar
1 teaspoon garlic powder
1 teaspoon onion powder
1/4 teaspoon MSG

1 can black beans, mashed
1/2 cup vital wheat gluten (gluten flour from Bulk Barn)
2 tablespoons nutritional yeast
1 teaspoon chipotle powder

Heat the coconut oil in a pan over medium heat and add onions when it’s hot. Cook them for 30 to 45 minutes or until they’re deeply caramelized, turning down the heat if they’re cooking too fast, and adding water if they get too dry.

While the onion cooks, heat the peanut oil in another pan over medium heat and add the TVP when it’s hot. Cook for a couple minutes until nicely toasted and the oil is dispersed.

Combine the water, bouillon base, Bragg’s, sugar, garlic powder, onion powder, and MSG in a small bowl. Add the mixture to the TVP and cook over medium-high heat until the water is absorbed and the mixture is crumbly like beef rather than mushy. This took me about 10 minutes.

Mash the beans and onions together with a potato masher, or just blend them in a food processor. Add the TVP, wheat gluten, nutritional yeast, and chipotle, and mix with your hand.

Portion out into heaping 1/2 cup servings and form into very flat patties. Grill them on a well greased inverted sheet pan, or fry them over high heat in a cast iron pan with a couple tablespoons of oil until blackened and crispy.

Load ’em up with toppings and devour. Don’t build yours upside down like I did, oops.


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